A Friend that is closer than a bother.....

The other night the husband and I were watching the new movie Bridesmaids.  If you have not seen this movie yet, but you want to, you probably don't want to continue reading. (I had not heard anything about this movie when I rented it, and had I known some of the things in it, I would not have rented it.)  Unfortunately by the time I realized this, my husband was already laughing his tale off.  There are some super funny parts, but some things could have been left out.  Just my opinion.  Anyway, back to the reason for this post. 

The movie basically revolved around one Best Friendship between two ladies.  They had been best friends all of their lives, and grown up together.  During the movie they started growing apart, and another friend was thrown into the mix to mess their friendship up for a short time.  Don't worry, they did make things right between them, and the movie ended great.  So great that I was in tears at the end, and continued crying for a while afterwards.

I have always wanted that.  A best friend.  A best friend that is always there for me, and me for her.  A best friend to stay up laughing until wee hours of the morning.  A best friend that knew everything about me, and me about her.  You know, that friendship that turns into true family.  The type of friendship that your heart would hurt if theirs hurt.  The one you would do anything for, and vice verse.  The one where you could just go to one or the other's house in your jammies and watch movies and veg out ALL DAY.

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I do feel I have had friendships like this in the past, growing up.  I suppose distance and time has gotten in the way of some of those friendships over the years.  Unfortunately, things have happened to tear other friendships up that I thought would last all of my life.  And I know it happened for a reason.  Some were not healthy friendships.

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For me, no friendship is easy to walk away from.  None.  No matter the circumstance someone has gotten hurt.  Someone feels inadequate as a person.  And for me, that inadequacy is always felt.  I have let friendships, or lack there of, determine how I think about myself.  I feel I am not good enough of a friend to have a best friend like I have always wanted.  I always seem to take all of the blame for what happens in the friendships.  I worry so much about what decisions I make, and how they will affect everyone around me that when they are made and something happens, it is my fault.  Ultimately, all of my best friendships that I have ever had no longer exist.

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I hate to admit it, but now that so many things have happened with friendships in my life I have put up walls.  I know I seem so open and outgoing on this blog (right?  I hope so.), but in real life, I am shy and backward around people.  It takes me sometimes MONTHS and MANY meetings to open up to people.  I do have a lot of people who I call friends, but not a best friend.  To me, there is a difference.

Then it hit me. Jesus wants to be my best friend. He wants me to cry with him. He wants me to tell him all of my stories. He wants my laughter. He will NEVER leave me. He will never forsake me.  Yes, best friends in life are great to have.  I would love one.  But until Jesus brings one to me that he knows will be that best friend in life I have always wanted, he will be that best friend.  And he will continue to be that, as long as I will let him.

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Thanks for reading.  Have a great day.  And make sure you tell your best friend how much you love and appreciate them.  Hugs.